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One of the meta-troubles about moving this from a fantasy world into a real world... is that murdering someone feels bad.
 
Smokeandlasers

List of Episodes[]

Recap Comic[]

"Correndon and Kale " (Cath and Kim) posted a comic which summarised the events of season 3 and included a poem describing the events using the scansion and rhyme sceme of the original Season 1 Theme.

(When Do We Get the Fancy Clothes?)
Now listen well, my children, because naught has gone to plan
Since our heroes fell through space and time and wound up in Japan.
The Dragon Friends have sworn to shield a superstar from harm,
But they fucked it up completely despite Freezo's firearm.
(Girlfriends)
So Playstation's been taken, despite what they avowed.
whilst empathically projecting fear upon a screaming crowd.
(Me Know What Mansplaining Is)
And while Philge is wandering Tokyo, Gleam's visions mire the mind,
Between dranks and angst and axes who'll be left for Philge to find?
So Johnny's former corporation wants him back (or killed) -
Under some laws it's a person otherwise it's just a guild.
So the hand job has gone sour and it's quite the final blow
When a wizard who's still visible yells "Where did Freezo Go?"
But Philge is back in business so they go when New York calls
Though they flagrantly abuse the airline safety protocols.
(I've Never Seen a Gooch That Couldn't Be Improved) 
Now the stakes are high at Play States, they can't throw away their shots
That's why Philge is punching art while Freezo tries to game the stocks,
But disguised as a designer Bobby learns of Johnny's fate,
Though a mistimed lycanthropic transformation ruins the date.
(Am I Doing... Good?)
Now the Guggenheim's in lockdown but if you're a VIP
You can murder nine civilians and the cops will set you free.
But the Friends are apprehended in a mangled motorcade,
Til a gunbear dons some sunglasses and BASE jumps to their aid.
(The Drunk One) 
Now Johnny's off to outer space, so boldly they must go,
But to reach the stars they first must find the CPU below.
So while Philge hacks through the matrix Bobby cons his way ahead,
But the lottery of a lifetime leaves the luckless loser dead.
(Take A Hit Point of Damage)
As our heroes head down under they are shot out of the blue
By the Uzi-using Uzi, Bouncer, Snot and Battleroo.
So they beat them off the wankboard with the bogans left for dead,
But when Freezo tries to loot the roo it kicks him in the head.
(I'm Fond of Castanets)
So after an explosive start down to the camp they ride,
With a sleek platonic robot called Megryan as their guide.
But their efforts at diplomacy are voided by default,
Because Philge gets bored and sneaks away and overthrows the cult.
(Theme From 'The Nanny')
At the future music festival, there's bangers, beer and blow,
Someone's going to get fingered though the venting steals the show.
But their bluffing past the muster and they climb the barricade
Using style and flair and warfare and a robot serenade.
(Put It All On Red)
With the road to riches risky, rife with traumas, trials and trips,
They seduce a man with millions making out with all his chips.
But ambition is their folly, and they bet it all on red
And their dreams of buying space die when they lose it all instead.
(Okay, That's a Persuasion Check) 
Poisoned, penniless, imprisoned, now their prospects are in doubt
But their angry brainwashed stripping jailer lets them skateboard out.
Their escape is interrupted by the aerial Bill Gates,
So they shoot him, take his cred stick, and then snake their way to space.
(I'm Going To Shoot Your Friends)
Past some fifty floors of housekeeping set high above the clouds,
Johnny Playstation emerges through the lasers, smoke and crowds.
But the frenzied feline feeling sees them fumble, flip, and fail
And it seems again they'll lose their friend and wind up back in jail.
(Just 57 Minutes Straight of Combat)
Another day, another frantic bargain with security
Who, distracted by their backstories, becomes a kidnappee.
But beyond the door's a jarring sight and many lose their heads
Though they get the show back on the road while running from the feds.
(A Sexy Number Four Please)
As our heroes flee through Freeside they conclude their shopping spree
Dressed as Stootmen, Uncle Pennybags and Sexy Bumblebee.
But it gets Sirius online, they take the dork lord on and win
And the gang hack the control room so the friends can slytherin.
(The Singing Water Company)
So the future for our heroes has been pretty bleak so far,
Since they messed up their first handjob and then lost a superstar.
And while they've recovered Johnny, the explosive sacs remain
If they don't get to the airlock they'll be shitting out their brain.
(A Very Sick Young Boy)
Philge and Freezo take the haywire cube and follow Fairbanks' schemes,
Pausing for some Freudian roleplay and to crush an author's dreams.
While the Stootmen take the cryo-cell and whistle while they work,
But their bluff is beaten by a boss who's terminally berserk.
(A Dog With Human Eyes)
Trapped behind the scenes of Freeside things have never seemed so low.
Now that Johnny's full of bullets and this place about to blow.
With the terminal directives out it seems that all is lost,
Though they hack him up and beat him is it really worth the cost?
For a greater evil's looming which can only mean one thing,
That this season's scheming psychopath's the monstrous Michael Hing.
(This Boy Fresno)
Michael swears that he can save them if they take his place within,
And it seems they can't refuse him as his cult is closing in.
But our heroes have a power he will never comprehend,
Because Hing will never truly know the value of a friend.
Michael Hing has been defeated, but their victory is brief,
Twas all work and no Playstation and no prospect of relief;
But one man can work a miracle, as he once worked a crowd;
And now Johnny is the silver lining of the data cloud.
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