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Now, me no big city doctor...

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Description[]

Dungeon Dave was in Melbourne when we recorded this but he left a lot of notes for Ben to run the adventure in his absence. Ben… tried his best. This one is set in Australia and for some reason that seems to bring out the worst in us, so there’s quite a bit of swearing, even by our standards.

Synopsis[]

20 hours from the installation of the dataspike into the ZOG bank, Sally Gunbear has departed for Calcutta and the Dragon Friends are headed for The Needle, the elevator providing access to Freeside, which is located in New South Queensland, Australia. On the way their helicopter is shot down by surface-to-air missiles while over the desert, 100km from the Needle. While searching the debris for Bobby's motorbike, they are approached by Bouncer, an orc-human hybrid on a Battle-roo (a genetically engineered kangaroo) wielding an electrified jousting stick, an Uzi-wielding man on a Honda CT110 ("postie bike"), and Snot, a woman on a wankboard being towed by the bike ("it's a [wakeboard] but they wank on it too") carrying a rake. After Philge makes an awkward attempt to imitate their accents, a fight begins in which Snot attempts to roll Philge onto her wankboard; after Bouncer is cut in half by Baston's sword and Bobby clubs Uzi over the head with his stun baton and steals his Uzi, Snot flees and is shot in the back of the head by Freezo.

Freezo attempts to calm down the Battle-Roo and succeeds, revealing it is carrying a baby in its pouch, but gets kicked when he attempts to remove the baby. Looting the corpses and debris, they discover that the bandits have branded skull symbols on their skins. They recover Bobby's motorbike and an ATV, although the ATV has no fuel and the bike is low. Philge uses a waterskin to transfer fuel from the helicopter to the ATV, and then starts the ATV which immediately explodes. The Friends decide to use the wankboard and motorbike to investigate the nearby bandit camp, possibly to find more fuel there; Freezo and Bobby will pretend to have captured the other Friends as prisoners and approach the camp using the nicknames Goochpuncher and Skullfarter.

People[]

Dragon Friends[]

Non-Player Characters (NPCs)[]

  • Bobson Dugnut
  • Uzi
  • Snot
  • Bouncer

Bestiary[]

  • Battle-roo

Places[]

  • Australia (Shadowrun)
  • New South Queensland
  • Brisbane (Shadowrun)
  • The Needle

Themes, tropes and running jokes[]

  • Baffling Reference for our International Listeners - Ben makes a joke about Annastacia Palaszczuk, the Premiere of Queensland, who was married to an infrastructure minister, and as such was considered perhaps unusually keen to carry out large infrastructure projects. (The joke is that she had already built "The Needle" space elevator.)
  • Baffling Reference for our International Listeners, again — the term "postie bike" refers to a small Honda motorcycle commonly used by postal workers in Australia
  • Ben mentioned that some of the aspects of the attacking bandits were suggested by Patreon subscribers. This includes the jousting sticks (from Luciella Scarlett), the battle-roo (from Simon Rogers) and the Tribe of a Million Kings (from "James"). The later true background of the Tribe, and the mastermind of the campaign, also appeared as suggestions (from "James" and Nate Small)
  • Named for their Weapon - Uzi.
  • God/Ben — Ben declares that Freezo takes 2 damage from the heat after Hing heckles his use of the phrase "enormously hot" to describe the desert. Later, Bobby gets similar treatment when Simon argues about how much fuel should be in his motorbike.

Quotes[]

  • "Dave's not gonna hear this for two weeks...he's gonna be so upset." — Benny
  • "So we're taking a helicopter to an elevator?" "It's the future, baby."
  • "Yea, I can fly. You're fucked." -- Bushu ("I hate this familiar. Can I get a new one?")
  • "Are any of their heads big enough that I could wear their skulls as a helmet?" "Oh my GOD."
  • "Save it for the wankboard, mate!" — Alex, upon Simon referring to his cobra baton as "my python"
  • "They find two halves of a jacket..." — Edan describes the result of looting the body of an enemy who was sliced in half

Table Talk[]

  • Ben is subbing for Dave this week. He tries to do a Dave impression but it all falls apart in short order.
  • "It seems to me that I would have filled it [Bobby's motorbike] up before going on a mission." "Well, it seems to me that you take a hit point of damage."
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