Description[]
Our adventurers go shopping, are reunited with an old friend and meet a long lost relative.
Synopsis[]
The Dragon Friends (Bobby and Freezo) have encountered two Hobgoblin guards, who take them to meet the Hobgoblin Mother. They are lead to a fancy house, where they meet the ostentatiously dressed Philge, happy to see them.
Philge tells her friends about all her Goblin servants, including Fuckgoblins, which Freezo asks to meet. He goes off with them for a deep conversation. Bobby meets Geroff, Philge's accountant, who reveals that Philge moved the hobgoblins to the city and expenses are running low, but "the mother has a plan" so it will all be okay. Philge reveals that her plan is to chop up their gold pieces so that they have more gold pieces. Bobby and Philge take the rest of the gold and leave, after giving a stirring speech.
Before going back to the sewers to meet Janos Meer, they decide to go shopping. Freezo goes to General Pantaloons to buy a baker's outfit. Bobby goes to the Magic Shop, and meets Dilge. Philge enters, covered in mud, and recognizes him. Freezo enters, dressed as a baker, and buys a Robe of Useful Items and a Bag of Holding. Bobby buys an Immovable Rod and gets his Dust of Disappearance identified. The shop disappears and Freezo tells Dilge that he was fired.
Bob finds them and tells them that they need to go back to Janos Meer. Freezo goes back to the Temple of Mystra because he is germophobic. The rest of the Dragon Friends go to the sewers.
People[]
Dragon Friends[]
Non-player Characters (NPCs)[]
- Dilge
- Bran-Bran and Trillop (hobgoblin guards)
- Sally and Patricia (fuckgoblins)
- Geroff Jr. (goblin accountant)
- Geroff Sr.
- Illegible Magic Shop Owner
- Bob (Janos Meer's henchman)
Organizations[]
Bestiary[]
Places[]
- General Pantaloons
- Magic Shop
Themes, tropes and running jokes[]
- Woke Freezo - Freezo takes pains to specify that he is interested in the human stories of sex workers
- Bakers and Baking - Freezo convinces Sally to follow her passions and become a baker
- Philge in Charge Now
- Freezo's Wank Screams
Quotes[]
- "Remember, my hobchildren! Days ago when you were motherless and I birthed you all, in that beautiful ceremony that made everybody scream, now me your mother and me must fly coop to bring back worms, because it is my understanding that you all like worms." - Philge's stirring speech to the goblins
- "If one more person becomes a baker, it's heart attacks for everyone!" — Dave, after the party appear to be starting to convince Dilge to take up baking
Table Talk[]
- Due to technical issues, the first 15 minutes of this episode were not recorded and there was no music
- All NPCs are played by The Bear Pack
- Tote bags labeled "Technically, all bags are bags of holding" are available from the Dragon Friends merch website.